I received this amazing mail and wanted to share with you guys
—————————————————————-
How to get a nice wife
Do read this….
There are times in a person’s life when he needs to take crucial decisions on
his own. Marriage is one of them. Believe me, the decision on whom to marry is
the most important decision a person will make in his life. After marriage, your
wife is the most important person in your life. She can make or break your life.
The mere thought of this is very frightening.
Some of the questions that crop up are -
a.. What sort of a girl do I marry?
b.. Will she adjust in my family?
c.. How can I decide on a girl by just meeting her for a few times?
d.. When should I get married?
e.. This is my life. So, I should choose the girl I marry, but then what if I
make a mistake? .. so on and so forth.
I will try to address these & many more questions in the following sections.
The Nine Rules of Arranged marriage
Rule 1 – Magic no. 28
In an ideal scenario, a girl goes to college at the age of 18. By the time she
graduates, goes for her post graduation and/ or works for 1-2 years, she will be
about 23- 24. This means that she has spent about 5 years away from her home. In
the 5 years period, she would meet many smart guys at college or during her
first few years on job. So, in all probability it would be difficult to find a
good girl older than 24 yrs. Secondly, in Indian families there is lot of
pressure on the girl’s to get married by the time they become 24-25.
Statistics says that there is a generation gap after every 5 years. So, in such
scenario, one would prefer to marry a girl who is about 3-4 years younger to
you. Thus, working backwards, an ideal age for a guy to get married is by 28.
Earlier the marriage, the better it is.
Well, as we all know, in the current market scenario, there will never be
stability in our career. So, I believe there is no such thing as, “I will marry
when I settle down”.
Rule 2 — Subset of marriage-able girls
At times you hear statements like, “I am not getting the right match, I will
look after 3 months, I will find a better match then”. Well the truth is
otherwise. The subset of unmarried girl looking for a match is fixed. From this
subset, there would be girls who would get married & there would be new girls
added who would be looking for a match. The net result is that at any given
time, the variety & number of marriage-able girls are fixed.
Rule 3 – Competition for girls
Like all other facets of life, there is lot of competition for good girls. So,
if you are looking for a girl who is post graduate, done her Engg, is working,
very beautiful, smart, from a good family etc. etc, just think again. There are
other guys who are also looking for similar girls & probably they are better off
than you in terms of career, looks personality etc. Given a choice every guy
would like to marry Aishwarya Rai. So, set your expectations accordingly.
Rule 4 — Understanding girls
You would have met a lot of people during your life. As we all know, its
difficult to judge a person based on a few meetings. I am sure you would agree
with me that in case of girls it is even more difficult to understand them in a
few meetings. I know people who are still trying to understand their wife. ..
Understanding your spouse is a life long assignment. So, then how do you select
a girl based on a few meeting? This is where you need to take the help of your
parents/ friends & latest technologies like email/chat to choose your girl.
Rule 5 – Society expectation
The selection process is tough on every one who is involved in the process. In
arranged marriage, involvement of family & society is pretty high. You can’t
meet a girl 3-4 times & then say no to her. It is bad for her future. So, you
should have a good short-listing criterion. Meet only a few girls & be sure what
you are looking for. It is for the benefit of everyone involved.
Rule 6 — Marriage between equals
Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you also marry into the girl’s
family. In arranged marriages, family support plays a major role in ensuring a
successful marriage. This is where the compatibility of social status, family
values & caste/religion plays a major role. Its important to note that in case
there is a perfect match between the two families, the marriage is destined to
succeed.
Rule 7 – Know yourself
Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you first marry a person & then fall
in love. So, it’s very important that you do a self-assessment on the kind of
person you would love. They say, “Opposite attract”, while they also say, “Bird
of same feather flock together”. So, you take a call on what sort of person you
like. Take a pen & paper; write down the kind of attributes you are looking for
in a girl. Say, she should ideally have the looks of Sonia, the style of Monica,
the voice of Sheena, the patience of Rashmi. You will certainly not find the
perfect girl, but then you would have a good idea of what you are looking for.
The secret here is to set some minimum criteria for selection. Don’t forget rule
no.3 here.
Rule 8 — Girl’s Beauty
A girl’s looks attract, but then no one wants to end up marrying a dumb It is
like buying your bike. When you initially buy it, you are crazy about the looks,
but later on you love it for its reliability, fuel economy & comfort level.
Similarly, a girl’s looks are important, but then it should not be the most
important criteria. Later on in life, you will get bored of her looks. It is
then that her personality & behavior will make all the difference to your
marriage. I am sure your parents will be able to advice you a lot better on this
topic.
Rule 9 — Taking advice
As I have mentioned in the next rule, it’s very important that the final
decision on whom to marry must necessarily be yours. However, don’t do the
mistake of isolating yourself from the world while planning your marriage.
Discuss with your parents & very close friends on this issue. They are your well
wishers. Secondly, in such important matters its necessary that you analyze all
possibilities. Remember, I am not suggesting that you follow others’ advice, but
don’t forget to take their advice.
Rule 10 — Own decision
All said & done, it’s your marriage & your life that is at stake. Once you are
married, you & your wife are the only persons who will be facing the music.
Don’t marry a girl just because your parents or friends asked you to do so.
After marriage, if things don’t work out & you end up saying, “It’s because of
my friends or my parents that I married you”, then your marriage is destined for
disaster. If the girl is of your choice, it is you who will be responsible for
whatever happens. That’s when the marriage works out perfectly. So, ensure that
you marry the girl of your choice.
How to approach the selection process?
From the day, a person decides to get married; the selection process takes a
minimum of 3 months. The whole process needs a lot of patience & commitment. The
ideal steps to be followed are:
a.. Definition phase
Define the minimum criteria for the kind of life partner you are looking for in
terms of education, physical appearance, social status, family values, future
career plans. Remember the Rule 3 here.
b.. Lead Generation phase
Place ads in various newspapers, magazines, websites, through friends, family
friends, family societies & association etc. You need to exhaust all possible
means of getting bio-datas at one go. Remember the Rule 2 here.
c.. Short listing phase
Based on your selection criteria, short-list the interesting bio-datas. The
general process followed for correspondence is as follows:
1. The initiator sends a one page profile of himself/herself.
2. Based on the profile, the receiver sends his/her one page profile along with
request for detailed profile, photo, horoscope.
3. The initiator then sends the requested information along with a request for
similar information.
4. The receiver send similar information.
5. If the bio-data is selected, it is passed over to the next phase.
A.. Casual interaction phase
Based on short listing, about 7 to 10 bio-datas are taken forwarded to this
phase. The next step to follow here is to exchange email/ chat ids. The guy &
the girl then interact for 10 – 15 days to try & judge mutual compatibility
through email/chat.
B.. Family interaction phase
Based on the earlier phase, about 5 leads are taken for consideration in this
phase. During this phase, the parents get involved & check the background
information about the families to find mutual compatibility.
C.. The dating phase
Based on the earlier phase about 3 leads are taken forward to this phase. During
this phase, the guy & the girl interact by going out alone for 2-3 times. The
guy needs to prepare a set of simple questions like who is your favorite star,
what are your hobbies? He needs to use his judgment to analyze the girl based on
her responses.
D.. The D-day phase
Finally, the D-day comes when the guy has to select the girl he wants to spend
his life with. If the process if followed systematically, there will be no
ambiguity in deciding who should be your life partner.
Finally, my dear friends, marriage is all about compromises. In spite of all the
planning that you do, there are a lot of uncertainties in a marriage. In fact
this is the best part about marriage. Just remember that the person you marry
must be of your choice. In such case, there would be no going back for both of
you.
A few words of advice: To make your marriage a success; just believe in the
age-old virtue, “Never do anything to others that you don’t like for yourself”.
Related Posts
Muhammad Ajmal
Dear i read the whole article, its really awesome, Selection of topic is excellent, approach is realistic, and writing syly is simple. Overall a nice combination of words to the persons who going to make a decision – Life’s most important Decision
How to get a nice wife
I received this amazing mail and wanted to share with you guys
—————————————————————-
How to get a nice wife
Do read this….
There are times in a person’s life when he needs to take crucial decisions on
his own. Marriage is one of them. Believe me, the decision on whom to marry is
the most important decision a person will make in his life. After marriage, your
wife is the most important person in your life. She can make or break your life.
The mere thought of this is very frightening.
Some of the questions that crop up are -
a.. What sort of a girl do I marry?
b.. Will she adjust in my family?
c.. How can I decide on a girl by just meeting her for a few times?
d.. When should I get married?
e.. This is my life. So, I should choose the girl I marry, but then what if I
make a mistake? .. so on and so forth.
I will try to address these & many more questions in the following sections.
The Nine Rules of Arranged marriage
Rule 1 – Magic no. 28
In an ideal scenario, a girl goes to college at the age of 18. By the time she
graduates, goes for her post graduation and/ or works for 1-2 years, she will be
about 23- 24. This means that she has spent about 5 years away from her home. In
the 5 years period, she would meet many smart guys at college or during her
first few years on job. So, in all probability it would be difficult to find a
good girl older than 24 yrs. Secondly, in Indian families there is lot of
pressure on the girl’s to get married by the time they become 24-25.
Statistics says that there is a generation gap after every 5 years. So, in such
scenario, one would prefer to marry a girl who is about 3-4 years younger to
you. Thus, working backwards, an ideal age for a guy to get married is by 28.
Earlier the marriage, the better it is.
Well, as we all know, in the current market scenario, there will never be
stability in our career. So, I believe there is no such thing as, “I will marry
when I settle down”.
Rule 2 — Subset of marriage-able girls
At times you hear statements like, “I am not getting the right match, I will
look after 3 months, I will find a better match then”. Well the truth is
otherwise. The subset of unmarried girl looking for a match is fixed. From this
subset, there would be girls who would get married & there would be new girls
added who would be looking for a match. The net result is that at any given
time, the variety & number of marriage-able girls are fixed.
Rule 3 – Competition for girls
Like all other facets of life, there is lot of competition for good girls. So,
if you are looking for a girl who is post graduate, done her Engg, is working,
very beautiful, smart, from a good family etc. etc, just think again. There are
other guys who are also looking for similar girls & probably they are better off
than you in terms of career, looks personality etc. Given a choice every guy
would like to marry Aishwarya Rai. So, set your expectations accordingly.
Rule 4 — Understanding girls
You would have met a lot of people during your life. As we all know, its
..
difficult to judge a person based on a few meetings. I am sure you would agree
with me that in case of girls it is even more difficult to understand them in a
few meetings. I know people who are still trying to understand their wife.
Understanding your spouse is a life long assignment. So, then how do you select
a girl based on a few meeting? This is where you need to take the help of your
parents/ friends & latest technologies like email/chat to choose your girl.
Rule 5 – Society expectation
The selection process is tough on every one who is involved in the process. In
arranged marriage, involvement of family & society is pretty high. You can’t
meet a girl 3-4 times & then say no to her. It is bad for her future. So, you
should have a good short-listing criterion. Meet only a few girls & be sure what
you are looking for. It is for the benefit of everyone involved.
Rule 6 — Marriage between equals
Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you also marry into the girl’s
family. In arranged marriages, family support plays a major role in ensuring a
successful marriage. This is where the compatibility of social status, family
values & caste/religion plays a major role. Its important to note that in case
there is a perfect match between the two families, the marriage is destined to
succeed.
Rule 7 – Know yourself
Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you first marry a person & then fall
in love. So, it’s very important that you do a self-assessment on the kind of
person you would love. They say, “Opposite attract”, while they also say, “Bird
of same feather flock together”. So, you take a call on what sort of person you
like. Take a pen & paper; write down the kind of attributes you are looking for
in a girl. Say, she should ideally have the looks of Sonia, the style of Monica,
the voice of Sheena, the patience of Rashmi. You will certainly not find the
perfect girl, but then you would have a good idea of what you are looking for.
The secret here is to set some minimum criteria for selection. Don’t forget rule
no.3 here.
Rule 8 — Girl’s Beauty
A girl’s looks attract, but then no one wants to end up marrying a dumb It is
like buying your bike. When you initially buy it, you are crazy about the looks,
but later on you love it for its reliability, fuel economy & comfort level.
Similarly, a girl’s looks are important, but then it should not be the most
important criteria. Later on in life, you will get bored of her looks. It is
then that her personality & behavior will make all the difference to your
marriage. I am sure your parents will be able to advice you a lot better on this
topic.
Rule 9 — Taking advice
As I have mentioned in the next rule, it’s very important that the final
decision on whom to marry must necessarily be yours. However, don’t do the
mistake of isolating yourself from the world while planning your marriage.
Discuss with your parents & very close friends on this issue. They are your well
wishers. Secondly, in such important matters its necessary that you analyze all
possibilities. Remember, I am not suggesting that you follow others’ advice, but
don’t forget to take their advice.
Rule 10 — Own decision
All said & done, it’s your marriage & your life that is at stake. Once you are
married, you & your wife are the only persons who will be facing the music.
Don’t marry a girl just because your parents or friends asked you to do so.
After marriage, if things don’t work out & you end up saying, “It’s because of
my friends or my parents that I married you”, then your marriage is destined for
disaster. If the girl is of your choice, it is you who will be responsible for
whatever happens. That’s when the marriage works out perfectly. So, ensure that
you marry the girl of your choice.
How to approach the selection process?
From the day, a person decides to get married; the selection process takes a
minimum of 3 months. The whole process needs a lot of patience & commitment. The
ideal steps to be followed are:
a.. Definition phase
Define the minimum criteria for the kind of life partner you are looking for in
terms of education, physical appearance, social status, family values, future
career plans. Remember the Rule 3 here.
b.. Lead Generation phase
Place ads in various newspapers, magazines, websites, through friends, family
friends, family societies & association etc. You need to exhaust all possible
means of getting bio-datas at one go. Remember the Rule 2 here.
c.. Short listing phase
Based on your selection criteria, short-list the interesting bio-datas. The
general process followed for correspondence is as follows:
1. The initiator sends a one page profile of himself/herself.
2. Based on the profile, the receiver sends his/her one page profile along with
request for detailed profile, photo, horoscope.
3. The initiator then sends the requested information along with a request for
similar information.
4. The receiver send similar information.
5. If the bio-data is selected, it is passed over to the next phase.
A.. Casual interaction phase
Based on short listing, about 7 to 10 bio-datas are taken forwarded to this
phase. The next step to follow here is to exchange email/ chat ids. The guy &
the girl then interact for 10 – 15 days to try & judge mutual compatibility
through email/chat.
B.. Family interaction phase
Based on the earlier phase, about 5 leads are taken for consideration in this
phase. During this phase, the parents get involved & check the background
information about the families to find mutual compatibility.
C.. The dating phase
Based on the earlier phase about 3 leads are taken forward to this phase. During
this phase, the guy & the girl interact by going out alone for 2-3 times. The
guy needs to prepare a set of simple questions like who is your favorite star,
what are your hobbies? He needs to use his judgment to analyze the girl based on
her responses.
D.. The D-day phase
Finally, the D-day comes when the guy has to select the girl he wants to spend
his life with. If the process if followed systematically, there will be no
ambiguity in deciding who should be your life partner.
Finally, my dear friends, marriage is all about compromises. In spite of all the
planning that you do, there are a lot of uncertainties in a marriage. In fact
this is the best part about marriage. Just remember that the person you marry
must be of your choice. In such case, there would be no going back for both of
you.
A few words of advice: To make your marriage a success; just believe in the
age-old virtue, “Never do anything to others that you don’t like for yourself”.