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Global Warming Effects in Antarctica

-Hearing-

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.

He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”

The gentleman replied, “Oh, I havn’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my WILL three times!”

-Idiot Teacher-

“If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?” said the sarcastic teacher.

After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.”Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?” enquired the teacher with a sneer.

“Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”

-A Dream-

A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine’s Day and announced enthusiastically to her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day! What do you think it means?”

With certainty in his voice, the man said, “You’ll know tonight.”

That evening the man came home with a small package and handed it to his wife. With anxious anticipation the woman quickly opened the package to find a book entitled - ” The meaning of Dreams”.

-Wedding-

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?”

“Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life.” Her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment,then said, ” So, why is the groom wearing black?”

-Some Interesting Facts-

The Statue of Liberty’s index finger is eight feet long

Rain has never been recorded in some parts of the Atacama Desert in Chile

A 75 year old person will have slept about 23 years.

A Boeing 747’s wing span is longer than the Wright brother’s first
flight.(the Wright brother’s invented the airplane)

There are as many chickens on earth as there are humans.

One type of hummingbird weighs less than a penny

The word “set ” has the most number of definitions in the English language;192

Slugs have four noses

Sharks can live up to 100 years

Mosquitos are more attracted to the color blue than any other color.

Kangaroos can’t walk backwards

About 75 acres of pizza are eaten in in the U.S. Everyday

The largest recorded snowflake was 15in wide and 8in thick. It fell in
Montana in 1887

The tip of a bullwhip moves so fast that the sound it makes is
actually a tiny sonic boom.

Former president Bill Clinton only sent 2 emails in his entire 8 year
presidency

Koalas and humans are the only animals that have finger prints

There are 200,000,000 insects for every one human

It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery had in
it to begin with.

The world’s largest Montessori school is in India, with 26,312 students in 2002

Octopus have three hearts

If you ate too many carrots, you’d turn orange

The average person spends two weeks waiting for a traffic light to change.

1 in 2,000,000,000 people will live to be 116 or old

The body has 2-3 million sweat glands

Sperm whales have the biggest brains; 20 lbs

Tiger shark embroyos fight each other in their mother’s womb. The
survivor is born.

Most cats are left pawed

250 people have fallen off the Leaning Tower of Pisa

A Blue whale’s tongue weighs more than an elephant

You use 14 muscles to smile and 43 to frown. Keep Smiling!

Bamboo can grow up to 3 ft in 24 hours

An eyeball weighs about 1 ounce

Bone is five times stronger than steel.

Sardar and ducks

A sardar went hunting one day in Ontario and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an honorary game warden who didn’t like sardars.

The game warden ordered the sardar to show his hunting license, and the sardar pulled out a valid Ontario hunting license. The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, “This duck ain’t from Ontario. This is a Quebec duck. You got a Quebec huntin’ license, boy?” The sardar reached into
his wallet and produced a Quebec hunting license.

The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said “This ain’t no Quebec duck. This duck’s from Manitoba. You got a Manitoba license?” The sardar reached into his wallet and produced a Manitoba hunting license.

The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said, “This ain’t no Manitoba duck. This here duck’s from Nova Scotia. You got a Nova Scotia huntin’ license?” Again the sardar reached into his wallet and brought out a Nova Scotia hunting license.

The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the sardar “Just where the hell are you from?” The sardar smiled turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said, “You tell me, you’re the expert.”.

-Lost Wife-

The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked,”You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket.

Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”

“Why?” she asks.

“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere.”

Almost all possible expressions in this amazing picture.